Beware of stupid sad rant. Don't know me, don't care about me? Then you don't need to read. It's okay, I get it.



Nobody's gonna read this anyway but:

Want to understand my rant? Then picture a big fence and a gate, one of those big old ones that manors have. Now picture people moving away from the gate, happy people with bright futures. Now picture me, on the other side of the gate, watching them go, grabbing the bars of the gate and just watching them leave. - That's how I'm feeling. Again.

Again i failed my maths exam and arts exam. What was I expecting? Dunno. Maybe an upgrade for "useless brainless outcast" to "weird and rejected but okay on its own". Not yet.

I was for 3 years now a science student, with a mind set on marine biology. Until I understood that it wasn't the right path for me. Still I tried the Arts exam without any real experience or the 3 year path that arts students walked. And there's why I failed Arts.

Maths was a bigger fail and humiliations for my poor brain. I used to be a good student, even arrogant about my perfect grades, I'm not anymore. And after repeating last school year all over again I still failed. Now people around me changed their speeches from "Is also took me 2 years to get it done." to "It also took me 3 years to get it done." Can you say pity?


I only needed 2 things to walk through that gate and into a new different life and maybe a University - pass maths and arts. I failed and the gate slammed on my face. Again.

I'm still leaving for Lisbon. Either that or I'll go insane and truly depressed. But it'll be different, no University. I'll have a lot of explaining to do to my unrealistic family that have no regards for exactly how hard it is to do good at an exam or even wost: get into a University. They think its really easy, that you just apply and you're in, just like that. I get angry and frustrated of just trying to explain it to them.


Well, long rant...but i think I got everything out.
Thanks for kindly ignoring it.

Aby <3