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About Me Member Deviously Annoying Abigail Lockhart19/Female/Portugal Recent Activity Deviant for 3 Years
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RANT - The other side of the gate

Tue Jul 7, 2009, 11:46 AM
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: Metric - White Gold
  • Drinking: green tea
Beware of stupid sad rant. Don't know me, don't care about me? Then you don't need to read. It's okay, I get it.



Nobody's gonna read this anyway but:

Want to understand my rant? Then picture a big fence and a gate, one of those big old ones that manors have. Now picture people moving away from the gate, happy people with bright futures. Now picture me, on the other side of the gate, watching them go, grabbing the bars of the gate and just watching them leave. - That's how I'm feeling. Again.

Again i failed my maths exam and arts exam. What was I expecting? Dunno. Maybe an upgrade for "useless brainless outcast" to "weird and rejected but okay on its own". Not yet.

I was for 3 years now a science student, with a mind set on marine biology. Until I understood that it wasn't the right path for me. Still I tried the Arts exam without any real experience or the 3 year path that arts students walked. And there's why I failed Arts.

Maths was a bigger fail and humiliations for my poor brain. I used to be a good student, even arrogant about my perfect grades, I'm not anymore. And after repeating last school year all over again I still failed. Now people around me changed their speeches from "Is also took me 2 years to get it done." to "It also took me 3 years to get it done." Can you say pity?


I only needed 2 things to walk through that gate and into a new different life and maybe a University - pass maths and arts. I failed and the gate slammed on my face. Again.

I'm still leaving for Lisbon. Either that or I'll go insane and truly depressed. But it'll be different, no University. I'll have a lot of explaining to do to my unrealistic family that have no regards for exactly how hard it is to do good at an exam or even wost: get into a University. They think its really easy, that you just apply and you're in, just like that. I get angry and frustrated of just trying to explain it to them.


Well, long rant...but i think I got everything out.
Thanks for kindly ignoring it.

Aby <3

Devious Info

  • Interests: anime, manga, music, candy XD and lots of other things!
  • Favourite movie: Howl's Moving Castle, Resident Evil, Stardust
  • Favourite band or musician: Evanescence, Panic! at the disco, Sugarcult, Paramore, Korn, Muse, Red
  • Favourite genre of music: a bit of everything and lots of J-Pop and J-Rock (no rap please!)
  • Favourite artist: my friends! XP
  • Favourite poet or writer: Edgar Allan Poe, Emily Brontë, Neil Gaiman
  • MP3 player of choice: iTunes
  • Wallpaper of choice: the ones on the walls...
  • Favourite game: Final Fantasys, DOMO, Devil May Cry, .Hacks...(RPGs rule!)
  • Favourite gaming platform: DS, Xbox 360, PS2
  • Personal Quote: Oh F%$#...Craptastic and Crapalicious!

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hi there! :wave:

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If I have twenty apples and give 4 away, how many crabapples do i have? ಠ_ಠ
my gallery: [link]
hi! =D
thanks for dropping by. <3

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'cause i'm just a girl...
yup =D
what can I say, re-addicted to Fatal Frame,and that photo is just sooo cute!

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'cause i'm just a girl...
=D my pleasure! I love Kazuma and you have such a nice stamp!

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'cause i'm just a girl...
Hi^^
Thanks so much for the fav :hug:
I really appreciate it :heart:

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:heart: Visit my lovely etsy shop [link]
where everything is under $30 bucks! ^_^
^.^ <3
My pleasure, you deserve it :hug:

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'cause i'm just a girl...

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